Commitment Page 37
“Nope. None,” Cassidy said.
“Good. Alex, why don’t you take Dylan out into the waiting room while we finish up here?” the doctor suggested. She made a few notes on the pictures and handed them to Alex. “First photo,” she winked. Alex just nodded a bit dumbly and led Dylan from the room.
“You could tell; couldn’t you?” Cassidy asked her doctor.
“Not a hundred percent,” Dr. Bartlett smiled. “Do you want me to give you my best guess?” she asked.
“No,” Cassidy said as the doctor wiped off her stomach and continued the exam. “I already have a pretty good idea.”
“Sixth sense?” the doctor asked.
“Sounds silly, huh?”
“No. Not really. I knew what all four of mine were going to be,” Dr. Bartlett said. “More accurate than the ultrasound. I wouldn’t be surprised if you felt some movement soon,” she told Cassidy.
“I already have,” Cassidy confessed.
Dr. Bartlett smiled. “I’m not surprised. Haven’t told Alex?”
“No. They are just little flutters. Started this week and not all that often. She’ll drive me crazy for the next few weeks until she can feel it if I tell her now,” Cassidy laughed.
“Well, Mackenzie is right where Mackenzie should be,” the doctor assured. “Everything looks good, Cassidy.”
“Thanks. Thanks for letting Dylan be here,” Cassidy said.
“How are you doing; emotionally, I mean?” the doctor asked.
“I’m okay. Today helped….all of us,” Cassidy said with a smile.
“I’m sure. I’ll let you get dressed. Just….Cassidy…make sure you take care of yourself too.”
“I will,” Cassidy promised.
Thursday, February 12th
Dylan sat between Alex and Cassidy in the pew of a small church, toying with the button on his jacket. Dylan felt his mother tighten her grasp as music began to play. He followed his parents’ lead to stand. The cherry casket at the front of the church was covered in a spray of yellow and red roses. Dylan stopped and looked at it. He kept his parents’ hands in his own and approached the casket. He’d seen people do the same thing when Alex’s father died. Alex leaned over into his ear. “Do you want us to give you a minute?” Dylan shook his head no. He wanted to talk to his father, but he wanted Alex and Cassidy beside him.
“I just want to talk to him,” Dylan explained.
“Go ahead, sweetie,” Cassidy said. “We’re right here.”
Dylan stepped up and put his hand on the wood. It felt cool and smooth. He smiled slightly at the way the lights reflected off the perfectly shined wood. “Hi Dad,” he said. “I’m really sorry that you went away. Santa brought me a cool new video game for Christmas. It has Batman in it. I think Alex asked him to. She can never beat Mom at racing.”
Cassidy choked back her tears and smiled at her son’s innocence. She looked at Alex who was watching Dylan protectively and reached for her wife’s hand as he continued.
“I’m sorry that you won’t meet Mackenzie too. He’s my brother…or my sister; I guess. Anyway, thanks for playing those games with me. And, for the beach. I hope you won’t be mad, but I am going to be a Toles now. Mom says I can still love you even if I have a different name.” Dylan started his slow retreat and then turned back abruptly and dropped his voice to a whisper. “I almost forgot. Can you find Alex and Mom’s dads and tell them they say hi? Me and Kenzie too. I think that would be nice. Thanks, Dad,” Dylan said. He looked up to Alex and then to his mother.
“Ready?” Cassidy asked. Dylan nodded. “Okay, let’s go.”
“I can’t believe how much press was there,” Cassidy said.
“Yeah, well…he’s a big story,” Alex replied.
“Alex, what now? I mean, do you even know where Agent Brady is?” Cassidy asked.
“No. And, that isn’t my concern,” Alex smiled as she climbed into the bed next to Cassidy.
“What about President Strickland and…”
“Cass?” Alex called to her wife gently. “Let it go,” she said softly.
Cassidy turned slightly on her side and gave Alex a peculiar gaze. “What is going on?” Cassidy asked.
“A lot and a lot of nothing,” Alex answered.
“I don’t follow,” Cassidy confessed.
“Nothing has changed, Cassidy…and yet, everything has changed. I don’t know how else to explain it. There’s going to come a time when I will have to be away again; maybe on a moment’s notice…”
“I know that,” Cassidy conceded.
“But, that won’t be for a while. My focus right now is restructuring Carecom and this family; not in that order,” Alex said.
“Mmm…Dylan handled today better than I did, I think,” Cassidy changed the subject.
“He is something,” Alex said proudly. “I think he told every person he met he was going to have a brother,” Alex laughed.
Cassidy looked at her midsection and shook her head. “Well, Mackenzie?”
Alex put her hand on Cassidy’s stomach and started talking. “You in there?” Alex asked. “You know; your brother thinks you are a boy, Kenzie. Are you?” Cassidy shifted slightly and giggled. “What? Did I tickle you?” Alex asked.
Cassidy smiled sweetly and brushed Alex’s hair aside. “No. I think Mackenzie is telling us he is a boy, or she is telling us we’d better prepare her brother,” Cassidy explained.
“You felt him?” Alex pulled herself up. Cassidy nodded. “What did it feel like?”
“A flutter, but a pretty big flutter this time,” Cassidy said.
“Wait….you felt him before?” Alex asked.
“Very little, Alex. Very little…until just now,” Cassidy explained.
Alex ran her hand over Cassidy’s belly lightly. “Ask him something,” Alex said.
“What?” Cassidy laughed.
“Dr. Bartlett said he can hear you. Ask him something,” Alex encouraged her wife excitedly.
“She didn’t say the baby could understand me,” Cassidy laughed harder.
“He can. Come on. Ask him something.”
“What do you want me to ask her?” Cassidy inquired.
“Ah! I knew it! You think it’s a girl!” Alex exclaimed.
“What if I do?” Cassidy answered back smartly. Alex put her head on Cassidy’s abdomen. “Alex, what are you doing?” Cassidy giggled.
“Kenzie, are you a girl?” Alex asked excitedly. “No? Um… are you a boy? Well, come on…inquiring minds want to know.”
Cassidy started laughing so hard she became short of breath. “Oh my God, Alex…stop…you are going to make me wet the bed.”
“Well, if you’d ask, maybe he would answer!” Alex said indignantly.
“Fine,” Cassidy agreed. “Mackenzie….tell your Mommy here that you are our little girl,” Cassidy said.
“Haha! See…she didn’t move. She is a he!” Alex said.
“You are worse than Dylan,” Cassidy chuckled again. “Your mother and your brother are insane, Mackenzie,” Cassidy said and then smiled widely.
“Cass? Moved again, huh?” Alex guessed. Alex kissed Cassidy’s belly. “See, our son doesn’t like it when you call Dylan and me crazy.”
“Yes, love. I’m sure Mackenzie was defending your honor.”
Alex stroked Cassidy’s stomach for another minute before pulling herself up for a kiss. “I don’t care, you know?” Alex said honestly.
“About?” Cassidy wondered.
“If it’s a girl or a boy. I don’t care at all,” Alex grew serious.
“I know that,” Cassidy said with a smile. Alex captured Cassidy’s lips in a fiery kiss. “What brought that on?” Cassidy asked.
“I was thinking about Pip and me....and Nicky. About Stephanie, Alexandra, and Dylan. I just want to make sure Mackenzie knows from day one who we are and that we all love him…or her,” Alex said.
“She will,” Cassidy replied.
“I knew it,” Alex said.
“Cass…stop. I know. I have things I have to do,” Alex said with a sigh. “Pip and I, we’re sitting at a table I don’t want to be sitting at.” Cassidy listened quietly. She knew exactly what Alex was referring to. The idea that Alex and Jonathan Krause, Eleana, Claire Brackett; were all born to fill seats at a table they did not choose. Cassidy offered Alex a comforting smile as Alex continued. “The truth is….I would like nothing better than to fill a whole table with our kids. The kind of table that they felel welcome to come home to when they want to; not one they feel obligated to stay at,” Alex said.
Cassidy raised her brow and changed the subject. “Just how big of a table are you thinking here, Agent Toles?”
Alex shrugged. “One with leafs.”
“You’re impossible,” Cassidy laughed.
Alex pulled Cassidy close and kissed her gently. She let her kisses slowly trail down Cassidy’s neck until she heard soft sighs escape her wife. Alex felt Cassidy’s hands run over her back tenderly, exploring curves and skin methodically and sensually. She pulled Cassidy’s sweatshirt off in one fluid motion and looked down at her wife in awe. “You are so beautiful.” Alex barely managed to form the words when Cassidy pulled her down and kissed her. “No,” Alex cautioned. “I want to make love to you….I just want you to feel me, Cass.”
Cassidy threw her head back and closed her eyes. Alex’s touch could set her on fire in an instant. Most nights she happily drifted asleep under Alex’s gentle touch. But, there were moments when Cassidy wanted to be consumed by Alex. It often happened with just the brush of Alex’s hand, or a loving expression that passed between them. “God, Alex….”
Alex’s hands covered every inch of Cassidy. She left nothing untouched. Her kisses laid trails where here hands had just fallen, gently exploring and whispering the truth to Cassidy without any speech. Alex pulled herself up and looked into her wife’s eyes longingly. “What, love?” Cassidy asked.
Alex leaned closer and claimed another deep, passionate kiss before returning to caress her wife gently. Cassidy felt Alex’s hand trail along her thigh and pulled Alex closer. Cassidy’s eyes revealed her need. Alex held her wife’s gaze as Cassidy began to move her body in time with Alex’s touch. “Stay with me,” Alex pleaded.
Cassidy understood the dual meaning of the statement. She kept her eyes locked to Alex’s as her body fell over the precipice that her heart had long ago willingly leapt off. She called out Alex’s name, never breaking the connection of their eyes, and felt Alex’s release travel through her at the same moment. Alex softly collapsed beside Cassidy and pulled her into her arms. “Thank you,” Alex whispered.
“What on earth are you thanking me for?” Cassidy asked.
“Everything. You, Dylan, Mackenzie…”
“You’re welcome,” Cassidy said gently.
“And for understanding that is what I needed,” Alex admitted. “Just to let me say thank you.”
“Anytime,” Cassidy said sleepily.
“Night, Cass,” Alex whispered. Cassidy grumbled slightly. “Night, Kenzie,” Alex said as she drifted off to sleep.
Cassidy felt another flutter and snuggled into Alex. “Night, Alex.”
Five Months Later
Friday, July 17th
arta,” Alex called her assistant.
“Yes, Ms. Toles?”
Alex giggled. It took her a year, but she finally realized that Marta would never succumb to informalities. “Is my two o’clock here yet?”
“No, Mr. Krause hasn’t arrived.”
“All right. Do me a favor and hold my calls until he does.”
“Certainly, Ms. Toles.”
Alex picked up the phone and dialed home. “Toles residence,” a voice greeted her.
“Hey, Speed. Where’s Mom?” Alex asked.
“Ummm…I dunno,” he said unconvincingly.
“Dylan, where is your mother?” Alex asked a bit more forcefully.
“Okay…hold on…she’s cleaning Mackenzie’s room again,” he said.
“How can she be cleaning Mackenzie’s room?” Alex asked. “Mackenzie isn’t even here yet.”
“I dunno!” he said. “But, she was really serious about it.”
“Dylan, go bring the phone to your mother,” Alex ordered her son.
“Okay, but she won’t like it…..Mom!” he called as he pounded up the stairs.
“Honestly, Dylan! Where is the fire?” Cassidy asked.
“Alex is on the phone,” he said. “Bye, Alex…”
“Bye, Speed. I’ll see you at soccer,” Alex told him. Sensing that Cassidy had hold of the phone, Alex spoke. “What are you doing?”
“Cleaning,” Cassidy answered abruptly.
“Kenzie making messes already that I don’t know about?” Alex asked.
“Don’t you have a company to run?” Cassidy asked a bit harshly.
Alex huffed. Cassidy’s usual agreeable demeanor had been less than pleasant for the last few days. “Cass, why don’t you just relax?”
“Relax? Relax? Alex, did you call home for some specific reason or are you just acting on behalf of the relaxation police?”
“I just called to check in,” Alex confessed.
“All present and accounted for,” Cassidy answered.
“I love you; you know?” Alex said.
Cassidy noted the hurt in her wife’s voice and sat down in the rocking chair. “I’m sorry, Alex.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t. I just…I’m tired, and I feel like a slug climbing a mountain. It’s hot…”
“Cass, I don’t know what it’s like for you. I don’t. Please, just try and relax–a little? Put the air on. Are you in the rocker?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, how did you know?” Cassidy was curious.
“Your breathing changes,” Alex said. She heard a knock at her door followed by Jonathan Krause’s face peering into her office. “Listen, Pip is here. I have to go. Just sit there for a while and take it easy. Please?”
“My breathing changes, huh?” Cassidy asked.
“Yep,” Alex said. “Do you want me to pick you up for Dylan’s soccer game or meet you there?”
“Meet us there,” Cassidy said.
“You sure?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, I’m positive. Sorry, I’m such a jerk,” Cassidy admitted.
“Tell Kenzie to behave. He giving you fits today?” Alex asked, shooting a smile toward Krause.
“Early this morning when you were talking to him…not too bad for the last couple of hours,” Cassidy said.
“All right. If you want to clean, have at it, but I think Mackenzie has the cleanest diapers in the country, or at least changing table,” Alex joked.
“Okay, point taken. I’ll see you tonight. Tell Uncle Pip we say hello.”
“Done. Love you,” Alex said.
“I love you too,” Cassidy said as she hung up the call.
“Everything all right?” Krause asked.
“I think so,” Alex said as Marta entered the room with some coffee. “It’s like living with Mary Poppins lately.”
“Nesting,” Marta said as she placed the coffee in Alex’s hand.
“What?” Alex asked.
“Mrs. Toles….she’s nesting. It’s normal,” Marta said.
“If you say so,” Alex shrugged.
“Mm-hm,” Marta smiled as she left the room.
Alex shook her head. “If I didn’t know better I would think she ran The Collaborative….So, what gives? Not that I am not happy to see you,” Alex winked.
“They’re moving forward with the special prosecutor,” Krause said.
“That’s good. That was the hope; right? He should be impeached. Strickland is dirtier than a three dollar bill. Why he ever thought he could pull off this cleaning house scenario….”
“Yea
h, Alex, but there is more. Sparrow surfaced in a small community outside of Lesosibirsk,” Krause said.
“She is cold, but Siberia? What the hell is she doing there?” Alex asked.
“Strange, I know. I don’t know. Eleana is making some calls. I have no idea. I haven’t unearthed any Collaborative interests within a hundred miles of her location,” Krause said.
“Why do I think there is more?” Alex asked.
“There is. Your play to acquire MyoGen has raised the bar,” he said.
“I imagine it has,” Alex smirked. “They don’t want us in genetics and they don’t want Technologie Applique in petroleum. Taking their market; such a shame,” Alex feigned sincerity.
“If you succeed, Alex…it will likely tip the scales. Someone will react,” Krause warned.
“That was the plan; wasn’t it?” Alex said. “Look, Pip….that merger is at least another six months in the making. If you think that prompted Claire’s northern exposure; then keep Eleana digging. They are feeling the squeeze financially; everywhere. The admiral and Strickland are probably in worse shape than Ivanov. He still has enough capital to grow whatever network he is building, but unless he is Sphinx, or has Sphinx in his court; he is at a severe disadvantage. We have my father’s and Edmond’s database. We have part of Viktor’s and whatever John uncovered.”
“I know. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Krause said.
“You think they’ll make a direct play for me?” Alex asked.
“No, maybe for Carecom,” he said.
“Well, we’ll just have to stay one step ahead until that time comes,” Alex said. “Now, why else are you here?” Alex asked with a smile.
“Hoping you wouldn’t mind if Eleana tagged along to Dylan’s game tonight,” he said in one quick breath.
“Why would I mind?” Alex asked.
“Nick going to be there?” Krause asked.
Alex nodded her understanding. “Nicky will not be there. And why are you avoiding him, anyway?”
“I don’t think he likes me much,” Krause said.
“God, for a man who is supposed to be so intimidating, you sure can be a wimp. Nicky’s always been my mother’s baby. It’s not about you,” Alex said. “And as far as Eleana goes, you know she’s always welcome. Cass loves her, so do Rose and my mom. What’s going on with you two anyway?”